Oh man, festival season is here. Better late than never, I suppose. I can already taste the overpriced water now. I’m not going to lie; the thought of getting out of my comfortable PJ's for anything other than a Zoom meeting makes my knees hurt. But it doesn’t have to be that way. What if I told you that you can leave the hole you’ve been quarantining in and rave while still being comfortable? Well, as a professional grumpy old man, I’m here to share some of my tips on how to rave comfortably.

Tops

Alright, let’s start with the first thing people are going to see when you’re at a festival. Which would be tops—because your beautiful face is going to be snugged behind a face mask since you’re doing your part in protecting others from a virus, right? Right?!

At a festival, you’re going to be jumping around, sweating and releasing all those demons that have manifested inside of you during those extra shifts you picked up just to make sure you had a little bit of extra spending money. For those comfortable with their bodies, there’s no harm in freeing your bare chest from its cloth cage as you get in touch with your inner Tarzan. But for those like me who have yet to make peace with their fading metabolism, I recommend tank tops. It’s the perfect way to partake in “Suns out, guns out” while still being able to enjoy another donut.

Personally, I like to wear solid, neon-colored tanks that are a size up (because nothing is worse than trying to find your groove just to have a sweaty shirt hold you back). Though, if you want something more expressive, I think you should take a look at the Chakra Owl Glow-In-The-Dark Tank on the iHR store. The top comes in a slimming black with a print of an owl that glows in the dark. And for my anime homies out there, there’s no better way for you to align your chakra under the Electric Sky than having Insomniac’s icon close to your heart.

Bottoms

Who likes short shorts? I do. There’s nothing more freeing than giving your “absolute territory” the freedom to breathe when high jumping to a dropped beat. For shorts, I recommend anything in the realm of running shorts. And preferably with zipper pocks to help secure your wallet and such from escaping when doing said jumping. And if you’re looking for something a bit out of this world, then iHR’s Milky Way Shorts will be perfect for you. Concerned about your berries when a DJ is blasting you off into outer space? I got you covered. Or, actually, iHR has got you covered with the Hidden Pocket Men’s Boxer Briefs. Not only will these briefs keep your astronaut secured, but they will also help secure that opened chapstick you brought from the no-no-police.

But this is just my taste. If you want more pockets, then definitely go with cargo shorts. And if you’re feeling a bit cheeky, there’s no harm in expressing yourself with some daisy dukes.

Also, I CANNOT stress this enough, wear comfortable shoes. You’re gonna be jumping on the balls of your feet for X amount of hours, so it’s in your best interest to wear comfortable shoes. You could get these It’s The Right Time Dad Sneakers so your feet won’t be destroyed after dancing from sun-down to sun-up. Another tip: get your footwear in dark colors because you will be stepped on!

Accessories

If you want to feel comfortable at a festival, the less you have in your pockets, the better. Such things as fanny packs, camel bags, rave backpacks will be your best friend. iHR has a great collection of these festival bags. Of course, my favorite is the Vibedration Neon Yellow Hydration Pack (I love the color, plus, it’s easy to spot me in the middle of the crowd when I get lost...which happens a lot).

At the risk of challenging my masculinity, I love to wear Kandi at festivals; I started my early raving years in the hardcore scene. But during these summer dance fests, I limit myself to a select few on each hand to ensure these colorful tokens of friendship don’t cut off the circulation to my arms. A tip: designate one arm with trading Kandi. You know, just to make it easier for when you get lost in the music.

Before I forget, always check the weather before any big event to see if you need to bring a light sweater/long-sleeved shirt. There’s nothing worst than trying to find your car or waiting for a shuttle as the early morning wind tries to freeze you to death. Because if you don’t, you might have to try and buy a sweater only to have the employee wearing a puffy jacket tell you all the long-sleeved items are sold out so you’ll have to settle for a $60 shirt that’s a size too small...Damn you, EDC 2019.